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双语读剧:Call me by ...(一)55:有些我仍像你现在一样无知

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qinting

2018年10月20日

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Then there are the leftover scenes: my father always wondering what I did with my time, why I was always alone; my mother urging me to make new friends if the old ones didn’t interest me, but above all to stop hanging around the house all the time—books, books, books, always books, and all these scorebooks, both of them begging me to play more tennis, go dancing more often, get to know people, find out for myself why others are so necessary in life and not just foreign bodies to be sidled up to. Do crazy things if you must, they told me all the while, forever prying to unearth the mysterious, telltale signs of heartbreak which, in their clumsy, intrusive, devoted way, both would instantly wish to heal, as if I were a soldier who had strayed into their garden and needed his wound immediately stanched or else he’d die. You can always talk to me. I was your age once, my father used to say. The things you feel and think only you have felt, believe me, I’ve lived and suffered through all of them, and more than once—some I’ve never gotten over and others I’m as ignorant about as you are today, yet I know almost every bend, every toll-booth, every chamber in the human heart.
 
还有另外一些琐碎场景:父亲总好奇询问我怎样利用时间、为什么我老是落单;母亲鼓励我,如果对老朋友没有兴趣,就去结交新朋友,但最重要的是别老在家里晃来晃去——书、书、书,老是书,摆弄这些乐谱。他们俩都劝我多去打网球,多去跳舞,去认识人,自己去体会为什么其他人在我们的生命中是如此不可或缺的一部分,而并不是让人只敢偷偷摸摸接近的一些陌生身体。必要时可以做些疯狂的事。他们总是告诉我:他们永远在孜孜不倦地打探,想找寻透露出伤心内情,神秘难解的蛛丝马迹,他们都想以那种特有的笨拙、扰人,又饱含深情的方式立刻帮我疗伤治病,仿佛我是迷途的士兵,误闯了他们的花园,伤口若不立即止血就会死亡。“你随时可以找我商量,我也经历过你的年纪”,父亲以前常说。“相信我,你以为只有你感受过的事,我全经历过,也因此吃过苦头,而且不只一次——有些我从来没克服,有些我仍像你现在一样无知,但人心的每个秘密角落,我几乎都知道。”
 
There are other scenes: the postprandial silence—some of us napping, some working, others reading, the whole world basking away in hushed semitones. Heavenly hours when voices from the world beyond our house would filter in so softly that I was sure I had drifted off. Then afternoon tennis. Shower and cocktails. Waiting for dinner. Guests again. Dinner. His second trip to the translator. Strolling into town and back late at night, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.
 
还有其他场景:饭后的沉静——有些人小睡,有些人工作,有些人阅读,整个世界沉浸在安静的半音里。外面世界传来的声音温柔地渗透进来,在这段美妙的时光里,我确信我已经神游他方了。午后的网球;淋浴与鸡尾酒;等待晚餐;宾客再度光临。晚餐。他二度造访译者,散步进城,深夜回来,有时一个人,有时有朋友作伴。
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